mahirap maging magulang (for my mom and all the mothers out there)
Today I realized one important fact in my life, and how timely for Women’s Month: It is hard to be my mother. It is hard to live the life she leads. It takes a great amount of effort, patience and sanity to do all the things she does, and it looks like she’s not going to stop anytime soon.
My mom raised us, with the help of our dad of course, while at the same time managing our business and our home, and also helping her family. She tried her very best, and most of the times succeeded, to keep everything afloat and satisfy everyone. She was always the dependable one. She made things happen. She gets the job done. That’s why everyone relies on her, to the point that she HAS to do everything to ensure stability and safety for everyone, on a daily basis. If this isn’t efficiency, I don’t know what is. But more the efficiency, it’s self-sacrifice. And the fact that my mother hasn’t cracked yet under the pressure is more than amazing.
Strong-willed, independent, sensible and responsible women have been in my family for generations already. Our family, especially on my mother’s side, is highly matriarchal. I even kid that my grandmother is the “Almighty Matriarch” of the family (and we all know that jokes are half-meant). The spirit of responsibility, charity and resilience has been passed on from generations to generations in the family. Every generation, one woman rises to the occasion and becomes the “ATE”: extending herself and taking care of everybody. That’s how it has been in my family, and my mom, taking after her mother, became the “ATE” not only because she really was the eldest daughter, but because she has taken the responsibility of looking after the welfare of our family.
My uncle once told me during a trip that my mom could actually be the essence of an “ATE”. I was so proud to hear that, but at the same time, I was saddened, because it was such a heavy burden to be placed on someone. It was hard to be a parent to almost everyone, because that entailed giving up much more than the usual. And it was harder to be a parent, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a boss, and a friend all at the same time. At times, I find it resentful to see my mother put herself through so much for people who are already old enough to take care of themselves, and who didn’t seem to appreciate what she does for them (guilty as charged, I can be such a jerk as well). Kung ako yun, pinabayaan ko na sila, pero hindi ako ang nanay ko, at buti na lang ganun. I don’t know if my mom is a glutton for punishment, but by the end of the day, I realize that, my mom is a MOTHER, and she does a heck of a great job being one. Kailgayahan niya na makitang maayos ang pamilya niya (at busog).
I have to be honest, sometimes I hate what my mom is doing and trying to do, but through it all, I have deep respect and admiration for her. I wouldn’t be where I am right now and enjoying all these opportunities if it weren’t for her. And although at times, when all I can do is sigh in exasperation because I find myself being lugged around in her errands, I know that I’m in the presence of an amazing and beautiful woman who is a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a boss, a friend, and a Mcgyver all rolled into one. Knowing that humbles me and makes me grateful beyond words.
I love you Mom
Kahit mahirap maging anak mo paminsan, nagpapasalamat pa rin ako na ganun nga. Mahirap maging ikaw, pero kung maaabot ko kahit katiting ng mga nagawa mo na, magiging masaya na ako. Thank you for giving me a spirit of responsibility, independence, and love.
And to all the mothers out there, keep on doing the great job. You all are amazing women, and you are loved. Happy Women’s Month!
